The Esoteric Grimoire

As long as I've known this song, I've thought about it as about [a breakup and the metaphor of] some kind of demon, but it just sort of occurred to me that if you squint it could also be about a stray cat, and that reminded me of another song, so. I don't know if there are more that could fit in this playlist of... songs that could be about breakups or cats?

Hozier, "It Will Come Back"

The Old '97s, "Murder or a Heart Attack" - This one was, he claims, literally written about his cat.

 This is a work in progress and I haven't strategized an order, but here:

Jonathan Coulton, "All This Time"
Joe Iconis & Family, "I Was Born This Morning (The Cicada Song)"
Amanda Palmer, "Another Year"
Amory Sivertson, "Hickory Hill"
Sheryl Crow, "If It Makes You Happy"
Pink Floyd, "Time"
Jim Croce, "Time in a Bottle"
Joe Iconis & Family, "The Bar Song"
We Are Scientists, "After Hours"
The Maccabees, "Precious Time"

 Girlyman, "Soul of You" presents the full feeling with resignation, and focuses on the the "you"'s failure; you should feel it all the way, you could feel it all the way, but you didn't and you don't and damnit, that sucks.

Carly Rae Jepsen, "Cut to the Feeling" has a sense of impatience, not just wanting to get the full feeling, but to "cut to" it, to skip the gradual build or whatever intermediate steps might be normal. It seems like it's about both parties in the relationship, though; she wants to cut to that part, for both of them. There's no sense that they're out of sync in their experience of feelings (at least that she knows), just that they're not there yet.

Amanda Palmer, "The Killing Type" is perhaps less focused, but I'd argue that "I would kill to make you feel" is its heart. It's perhaps most in the "Soul of You" vein in that she's definitely feeling lots of things; it's the "you" that's lacking in the feeling department. (I'm hesitant to put "I Can't Make You Love Me" on here in its own right because I don't want to open this too far, but I think it's worth a mention here in terms of accepting inability to make other people feel things.)

Ani DiFranco, "Half-Assed" takes it out of the context of a relationship, but also positions the full feeling as sort of the baseline, and explores the disappointment of not being able to reach it. Everything else is a failure.

Eric William Morris, "Mamma, Cut Me Deeper!" continues with the numbness idea, focused on the self, but takes it in a darker direction.

Linkin Park, "Numb" I feel like I can't touch on the numbness concept without including this, even though it's a musical outlier.

Sarah Michelle Gellar, "Going Through the Motions" / "Walk Through the Fire" Maybe this is a broader kind of disconnection, with a more dramatic origin, but it seems relevant.


Ani DiFranco, "Studying Stones" is interesting to me because it takes the angle of trying to avoid feeling. Which is probably a whole other list, people not wanting to feel things.

 I've been wanting to do something about songs' intertextuality for a while, and this is maybe the least pretentious approach to that? There are articles written about this so it's not like it's anything new but I think it's interesting.

Maybe I can make some conclusions? It's My Party is really about agency, but it has the advantage of rooting that in the pop music staple of a party setting. What a party is and sounds like can easily evolve with the time. But the concept at the heart of it that stays the same is asserting ownership over a situation, and the right to do whatever the singer wants. It's a youthful rebellion kind of idea, the desire to be in control, to declare it, brag about it, and ignore the consequences of deciding to do whatever you want. Of course, in the original, it's crying, and being allowed to feel and express your feelings is really a whole different thing and an uncommon message for a pop song; I've never really thought of "It's My Party" as being about allowing yourself to have your feelings, because I do think the message that gets passed along tends to have more of a young, even bratty, sense of entitlement. Maybe because of the reason she's allowed to feel her feelings; it's not because everyone is, it's because this is HER party. (Pretentious enough yet?)

Some of these songs are pretty annoying but they are making the point maybe. You can always stop listening once you get the use of the song.

Lesley Gore, "It's My Party"

Melanie Martinez, "Pity Party" - This one takes a different type of sadness, but is unusual in these in that it focuses on the crying, the tragedy; the party she's asserting ownership over is, perhaps, hers because no one else wanted it. [For some reason, I'm currently obsessed with this mashup.]
Icona Pop, "My Party" - Along "Pity Party" lines, it's the party-gone-wrong.
Drake, "Take Care" - This is maybe the first example that might be influenced by a desire to subvert the "squeaky clean" image of the Gore original. It's something that I'd argue pops up in most, if not all, of the rap interpretations, and definitely in "Sex Therapy." Also notable here that he avoids the word "party" -- even though he's likely talking about one.
Chaka Khan, "It's My Party" - This is maybe the closest to retaining the original meaning. She's asserting control of the party in the face of betrayal and heartbreak, not just to brag.
Jessie J, "It's My Party" -  Perhaps the essential pop interpretation is "it's my party and I'll do what I want." But this does retain some of the sadness underneath; she doth protest too much that she doesn't "give a damn" and that's why she's having such a great party.
Brandy, "It's My Party"
Miley Cyrus, "We Can't Stop" - This one is interesting to me in terms of agency because "Can't" is there in the title. Despite that, it seems to be played straight as far as the prevailing pop interpretation goes; it's our party, we can do what we want. (Only I would type that and then thing of "Doin' the Things That We Want To.")
Cymphonique, "It's My Party"
Nightcore, "It's My Party"
Kitty Pryde, "Okay Cupid" - This one flips the usual usage. I don't have an analysis of the song, but it's definitely a twist.
Robin Thicke, "Sex Therapy" - They don't all have to be about parties. Maybe they're just harder for me to find when they're not.
Fabuloso, "This Is My Party"
Roscoe Dash, "It's My Party" I'm cutting myself off, but I still think it's hilarious that a guy I went to HS with is a rapper and he's featured here.
The Beatles, "I Don't Want to Spoil the Party" - people say this was influenced by it?

Lesley Gore, "Judy's Turn to Cry"

I don't know that there's any other song that's referenced this much. And I'm sure there's more than this. Given the genre focus, I bet it shows up in other genres, just maybe there's less written about it and maybe they're more creative about naming their songs.

I can't really call something a playlist if it's just hey I've been listening to this song. But.
The Front Bottoms, "12 Feet Deep"
Edie Carey, "The Middle"

This is the communicate, people! version of the songs not to play at a wedding playlist, or like I have been in Coulton mode and thinking a lot about Shop Vac.

Amanda Palmer, "The Bed Song"
Jonathan Coulton, "Shop Vac"
Simon & Garfunkel, "Dangling Conversation"

Hopefully I'll add because 3 seems like not enough to justify posting.

This isn't about communication so much but it just fits so well with Shop Vac to me:
Heidi Blickenstaff, "Ammonia"

"Good Day"
"My Alcoholic Friends"
"Sex Changes"

"Delilah" (especially live; she did it at the last AFP concert I was at and it was killer)
 

It is easier to come up with pretty iconic anti-marriage songs I omitted ("Ampersand"? How did I miss that before? And I've been specifically avoiding marital infidelity but I might do a separate sub-list) than the other list but I'm gonna put some here and maybe both lists will expand. I had to broaden my reach on this a little but hopefully it still coheres.

Foo Fighters, “Everlong”
Joey Ryan, “Permanent” - This song still really reminds me of my temp agency sitcom idea
Indigo Girls, “Love Will Come to You” - Is this really optimistic, or is just about trying to be optimistic?
David Bowie, “Modern Love” - Do I really even know what he's saying about modern love? I guess I'm taking it as it's scary and kind of bullshit but he's drawn in anyway.
people in productions of Company, “Being Alive”
JoCo, “My Monkey”

Amanda Palmer, "Bottomfeeder"
I should be all about "Ukulele Anthem" but instead this is the kind of song that can make me feel like why am I trying to do things when other people are so good at what they do.